Hello, my friend,
How are you doing today?
I apologize for not writing to you frequently. However, I assure you that I will make an effort to communicate more often going forward.
As you may know, February is commonly referred to as the 'Love Month' by many people. Thus, I believe it would be a lovely idea to share some lovey-dovey with you.
Have you ever wondered how to make your long-distance relationship work? Fortunately, I am in a long-distance relationship, and I can say from experience that it requires great commitment to work.
To be honest, it is not easy, but if both of you are intentional about making it work, it will. Several tips can help make your long-distance relationship work. However, I will be sharing some tips that have helped me, and they are still helping me.
Without further ado, I want to share with you five tips to make your long-distance relationship work.
EIGHT TIPS ON HOW TO MAKE YOUR LDR WORK
Communicate as often as possible
Communication fosters a great bond between you and your partner. Simple things like; calling your partner and asking about their day go a long way in a long-distance relationship. Your partner too will feel special and cared for.
Sometimes, because of the time difference and all, you might not be able to talk every day or call every day. It’s honestly not a one-size-fits-all situation when it comes to the dynamics of talking. Don’t apply too much pressure. Find what works for your relationship and stick with it.
As much as you can, send pictures, videos, voice notes, texts and so on. Be intentional about communication. You can fix calling times if that works for you too.
Communication would help you build trust, friendship and commitment despite the distance.
Also, avoid assumptions. Always ask questions. Your partner cannot read your mind so remember to always talk and say how you feel.
Be very open to your partner.
Transparency is also essential in long-distance relationships because you guys are apart. Therefore, you must tell your partner everything.
Let me tell you from experience, that trust can be questioned in a long-distance relationship. I once heard that honesty is telling the truth when asked, and transparency is telling when you weren’t asked. So if there’s anything your partner needs to know, tell them. Don’t wait till they ask after it has become an issue. See your partner as your accountability partner. E get why o.
3. Have Shared activities.
Developing shared activities helps to build intimacy in a relationship. Shared activities like praying together, having a virtual date, studying God’s word and reading a book together are romantic too.
Distance doesn’t mean that you and your partner can not do things together. For example, you and your partner can plan to have a movie night together through a video call. Feel free to be as creative as possible.
Quality time is a major one for me, so I always take advantage of any activity to spend more time with my partner.
4. Speak each other’s love languages.
Everyone has a primary way of giving and receiving love. The Five Love Languages are Quality time, Physical touch, words of affirmation, Gifts and Acts of service.
For me, my partner realized that my primary love language is quality time. So, regardless of his busy schedule in a day, he made sure he created my own special time.
If your partner loves gifts, no matter how little, buy for them. Help them as much as you can if theirs is acts of service; spend time if it’s quality time. Shower them with love in words if they love words of affirmation.
Making it a habit of speaking each other’s language can be challenging, but the work is worth it. It can transform and strengthen your relationship. Make sure your partner feels loved regularly.
5. Set an agreed timeline.
I once heard that It is when you know the end of a thing that the thing can bring pleasure to you. There should be a timeline for your long-distance relationship.
Being in a long-distance relationship, I’ve watched many videos of others who have been or are in the same shoes. They always say the same thing- the timeline will reduce frustration in your long-distance relationship.
I’ve heard of many long-distance relationships that ended due to a lack of an agreed timeline. Although long-distance can be tiring, a timeline just gives you something to look forward to.
6. Create a System to resolve conflict
Settling disagreements takes twice as much effort in a long-distance relationship. You have to choose if you want to remain angry or just forgive, mainly because there’s already distance.
If one isn’t careful, disagreements can ruin your relationship. Try not to argue or settle a conflict with text messages. Text messages can be easily misunderstood. Instead, send voice notes, make a video, or do a video call.
One crucial piece of advice I’ll give you is that you shouldn’t let fights last longer than a day. Please. I know it’s not easy but try. Especially if you both are in different time zones and have a fixed time to talk per day. Trust me, you’d rather spend that little time in unity than in disagreement.
Conflict can be a good thing but don’t stay in conflict- Pastor Micheal Todd.
7. Write letters to your partner.
One thing I do for my partner is to write letters to him once in a while. I appreciate him for being a blessing to me, I use sweet words for him and pray for him.
This tip has helped our relationship a lot. I remembered when we had issues, and I went to my letter archives. Reading those words reminded me of the promise we made to each other when we started. It also spurred me to forgive him and resolve the issues.
This tip might not work for everybody, but really it worked and still works for my relationship.
8. Prayer and accountability
Pray for your partner out of love, not out of compulsion. Somehow you might not know what the prayer is doing for and in the lives of your partner.
It keeps love in your heart for your partner too. For me, I get romantic ideas whenever I pray for my partner. Also, when we have disagreements, or I feel neglected, and I pray, the Lord speaks to me and guides me from making irrational decisions.
Also, have trusted people that you’re submitted to. I don’t mean your friends too. I mean older people, pastors, mentors or married couples.